


I Love You to the Moon

by DaisyFairy



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: First Kiss, Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, No non-con between Aziraphale and Crowley, Rape/Non-con Elements, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 08:47:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20618258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Crowley expects to spend the evening sitting in his flat with his best friend, Aziraphale, drinking wine until they can't see straight. Unfortunately a group of demons find Aziraphale in his flat before he gets home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly written before I saw the show, based on the book and trailers for the show. It is probably best described as set in an alternative universe where the attempted apocalypse never happened.
> 
> Please beware the tags on this one. I have put the most graphic section in chapter 2 with a brief description in the end note for anyone who wants to skip that part, but be aware that the themes of the fic will be mentioned in all three chapters.

Crowley was a little distracted juggling several bottles of wine and trying to decide which one Aziraphale would like to try first as he opened the door to his flat, or else he would have sensed the demonic aura within from halfway down the street. As soon as the door was opened though there was no way to ignore the stench of sulphur associated with demons newly emerged from hell. Stepping inside took him through the soundproofing charm that had been set on the flat and he could hear cries of distress mixed with grunts and what sounded like cheering coming from the bedroom.

Fear gripped him, Aziraphale was supposed to be meeting him here, and was nowhere in sight, but the warm glow of Aziraphale's aura proved that he was somewhere nearby. He dropped the bottles without a care as they smashed on the wooden floor, and dashed towards the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If you want to skip the explicit violence and non-con section, please do not read this chapter. Just read my brief summary in the end note instead**

The sight that greeted him made his blood run cold (or colder anyway). Aziraphale, his best friend, was naked and being held down on his back on the bed by four demons, one holding each limb, their talons ripping cruelly into his flesh and his skin burning from their touch. His wings had been fastened firmly to the bed with chains woven through with occult sigils, and had blood dripping from them where half of the feathers had been ripped out. 

Worst of all was the sight of a fifth demon sweating on top of the angel as he fucked into him with strength that would have shattered a human, raking his claws down Aziraphale’s chest adding to the already horrifying assortment of deep scratches all over his torso.

Shaking with far too many emotions to even count Crowley eventually let himself look at Aziraphale’s face, bruised and battered, his nose obviously broken and his jaw at an unnatural angle. He was only half conscious, but still groaning and crying out in pain at what was being done to him.

Crowley held back his instincts to yell and pull those demons away from his angel, there was no way that he could defeat all of them, especially when they would be backed up by the authorities from below. Incredibly glad of the sunglasses hiding the tears in his eyes he tried to gather his wits to find a way to save Aziraphale, when another two demons emerged from the ensuite bathroom laughing at some joke they were sharing. 

The larger of the two demons saw Crowley and came over slapping him in the back.

“You’ve got here just in time! I'm Ath'toz, I came to tell you that your biannual report is due, and what should I find in your home but an angel! Sitting there as if it owned the place. Anyway, I called for backup and we’ve taken care of it for you. Once Zigrorug has finished we will all have had a turn, so you can have a go, and then we’ll take it down to hell to finish the job.”

Crowley felt his eyes burn with hatred and his claws emerged, he just about refrained from ripping the bastard's face off there and then. He bit his tongue and fought to compose himself for a second, then managed to croak out, “No, no. Once Zigrorug is done you should go and leave it to me. I have unfinished business with it.”

With a loud groan Zigrorug's thrusting became even more frantic and then stilled as he grunted in climax on top of the whimpering Aziraphale. He slapped the angel across the face so hard that his head snapped to the side and Crowley would have been worried that his neck had been snapped, completely discorporating him if it wasn't for the fact that he was still weakly struggling against the chains; and then climbed off with a triumphant smirk accompanied by jeering from his companions.

Ath'toz called them over and they all left Aziraphale on the bed to come and speak with Crowley. He was so desperate to run over to the trembling angel and comfort him, but had to hold himself in check and go through the disgusting ordeal of congratulating them all on their excellent work catching a Principality and teaching it a lesson. It took far too long for them to all leave, especially as several kept angling for ‘another go’ before they left, which he had to firmly but politely refuse, pointedly holding back from crushing their wind pipes with his bare hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Crowley found a group of demons attacking Aziraphale who was chained up. He couldn't help because there were too many demons, so had to pretend to be impressed they had caught an angel and persuade them to leave and let him finish the angel off himself.**
> 
> For the Demon names I used this website: https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/demon_names.php


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as the last of them had gone and taken their insinuations about the awful things Crowley was going to do to Aziraphale with them he rushed back to the bedroom. Seeing his friend so broken filled him with impotent rage. 

He ran to the near unconscious angel’s side, grabbed him by the relatively unblemished skin of his shoulders and screamed, “What where you thinking? Why didn’t you just vanish yourself back to your shop? I bet you tried to talk them around didn’t you? You , you....” he trailed off as he noticed that his claws were digging in to the angel’s skin, blood pouring out of the new wounds he had caused. Aziraphale was moaning and trying to pull away from the painful touch and Crowley jerk away.

He took a few shaky breaths and tore off his sunglasses, throwing them across the room so that they smashed against the wall. He approached the bed again and lifted the chains away from the angel's wings, hoping that without the occult sigils interference Aziraphale would be able to heal himself. 

He gave it a minute, but with no sign of the bleeding abating he growled and placed his hands, more gently this time, on the angel and Willed his wounds to heal. Aziraphale screamed as the gaping wounds in his skin closed, ugly scar tissue knitting them closed, and his broken bones were jammed back together and fused into place. Crowley cried as he tried desperately to gentle the healing process, but unlike Angelic healing which comes from a place of love, a Demon's healing powers are brutal, only supposed to be used to heal a victim enough to stop them dying to prolong the torture that can be inflicted. 

As soon as he could feel the Angel's body was out of danger of dying he stopped, leaving the remainder of the injuries to be healed later.

“Wake up, pleasssse.” He hissed, but Aziraphale was still moaning with tears streaming down his face.

He should have been awake, he was healed enough, no internal injuries, no bleeding and enough blood had been replaced. Why wasn’t he waking up? Then Crowley sensed it, he couldn’t tell before with all of the demons around, but the aura around Aziraphale wasn’t right, it should have been warmth and love but instead it was dim and shot through with something else. 

He allowed himself to look beyond the physical, to Aziraphale’s true form. The being of overpowering light that should have been there was ruptured and torn, the tattered remnants of his ethereal self fluttering as if they were whipped by a storm, and veins of ugly black were growing throughout him, where the demons had infected him with their darkness. He raged at what had been done to his friend, swearing that however impossible it seemed he would hunt every last one down and wipe them from existence, he reached with his own occult self to try to gather Aziraphale together, but everywhere he touched the darkness grew and an inhuman scream filled the air. 

He felt his anger grow, it was so unfair that he couldn’t save him. Aziraphale’s mortal body may be healed, but he was still dying, not discorporating but completely disintegrating out of existence. He scrabbled for the remaining shreds of light, desperately trying to hold them together, but every touch only made it worse, until there were mere ribbons left in a tattered sea of darkness. 

His heart failed him, all anger collapsing in on itself he despaired at his failure and said a silent farewell to the being that he now, at the end, dared to admit that he loved more than anything else in Heaven, Hell or in between.

One last touch, as the light was failing, one final attempt to let Aziraphale know he wasn’t alone, even if he was probably beyond understanding. He whispered words in Enochian, the language of angels that he hadn’t spoken in six thousand years since his fall, “I love you.” and everything changed. 

Where before Crowley’s touch was only destruction now it brought life. Aziraphale’s fading light sparked and grew, the darkness burning away from the point of Crowley’s touch and rapidly retreating. The shreds of Aziraphale’s being growing stronger and merging together into one whole that was within seconds too bright for the demon’s eyes to behold.

Crowley moved away and shifted his perception back to the physical before he was blinded, just in time to see Aziraphale come back to his mortal body. His eyes opened and they shone with the light, his very skin glowed golden and every scar on his body was burned away by his angelic power.

After only a few more seconds the light faded and he looked just the same as he ever did, although much more naked than Crowley had seen since the days of public bath houses.

Aziraphale peered nervously around the room, but when his eyes found Crowley he lit up with a watery smile. “Crowley! I knew you’d come.” He rasped.

“I couldn’t stop them, I just watched them hurting you. I’m sorry.” Crowley cried.

“Now, now my Dear. Its quite alright, I’m sure you did your best.” Aziraphale replied, his voice weak but still firm in his conviction.

Crowley sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to comfort the Angel, but his hand fell back in uncertainty at whether his touch would be welcome.

Aziraphale looked down at Crowley's hand lying on the bed between them and reached out his own trembling hand to take it, at first gently, but he grasped harder as tears came to his eyes and his lower lip wobbled.

“Oh! Angel!” Crowley forgot all about being gentle in his hurry to stop his angel from crying and practically launched himself at him to gather him into his arms. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what they did. I never wanted them to hurt you. I love you, I, I’m sorry”

“I know.” Aziraphale patted Crowley vaguely on the back, “I felt it, when you healed me, your love. I love you too. But, do you mind if we have this conversation somewhere else, I'd rather not stay here now.”

Crowley sprung up, “Of course, oh, I’m so stupid, of course you don’t want to stay here. I’ll get your clothes.” He sighed in dismay when he spotted Aziraphale’s clothes shredded in the corner of the room, “OK, Ok, here, I’ll make you new clothes.” He snapped his fingers and a new suit almost identical to Aziraphale’s old one appeared, although with a plain cream bow tie instead of tartan, there is, after all, only so far his imagination could go. Another snap and Aziraphale was clothed.

“Thank you Dear.”

Crowley helped Aziraphale up from the stained and torn bed and together they navigated their way down to the Bentley with Crowley supporting his angel on his weak legs.

Once they were settled in the car Crowley raised a hand, ready to click his fingers, “I should burn it down, I never want to go there again.” 

Aziraphale reached over and closed a hand over his fingers, “No, your poor plants, and the neighbours. Let’s just go, we can figure it out later.”

Reluctantly Crowley started the car and drove away. Mindful of his fragile passenger he kept the speed to practically a crawl for him, a mere 45 miles an hour, but even so they soon arrived at Aziraphale's bookshop and made their way inside.

Crowley got Aziraphale settled into an arm chair and then bustled around making tea, fetching biscuits, and then, feeling unable to settle, he actually started trying to tidy away some of the piles of books dotted around the room. All the while Aziraphale sat silently watching. At last, unable to wait any longer, Aziraphale called Crowley’s name quietly.

Crowley had his back turned and he screwed his eyes up to try to keep a sudden wave of tears at bay.

“Please, Crowley. Anthony. I need you.”

At those words Crowley rushed to his Angel's side, “Does it hurt? Do you need something? What can I do?”

“No. I’m fine. Just. Sit with me. Please. I, I, I know what they did doesn’t matter, its all healed now, and it was mostly just human body stuff anyway, but I just feel, I feel, I don’t know how I feel, but I don’t want to be alone.”

Crowley nodded. “I should call Gabriel for you, or Michael, someone from Upstairs anyway. They can take care of you.”

“No! Why would you do that. I want you, and you, well, you told me how you feel about me. Has that changed already? You don’t love me now?”

“That isn’t it.”

“Is it, is it because of the things they did? You loved the idea of corrupting me, making me dirty, being the first to use my human body, and now that they’ve used me you don’t want to anymore?”

“No! No!! It was never like that. You aren’t safe, around me. They’ll always be sniffing around, wherever I go, and they could hurt you again. I have to leave and stay far away, I couldn’t bear if you got hurt again.”

Crowley disentangled himself from their embrace and pulled away, his eyes full of regret and his mouth downturned.

“I need you, please don’t go.”

“I have to, to keep you safe. I’m sorry angel. Goodbye.”

Crowley walked out of the bookshop, tears streaming down his face as he ignored the pleas of his love for him to come back, and hated himself for being relieved that Aziraphale was still too weak to chase him.

Two weeks later Crowley was just putting the last of his plants in place in his new flat when the doorbell rang. He scowled to himself, if this was another neighbour come to welcome him to the neighbour as a thinly veiled attempt to nose around he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions. 

He opened the door with a yell of, “What?!” but froze when he saw who was standing in the hallway.

Aziraphale gave Crowley a small smile and fluttered his fingers in a half wave, “Surprise!”

“Aziraphale? You cant be here. You need to stay away.”

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“No. You need to leave. Now!” Crowley tried to slam the door, but Aziraphale managed to get a foot over the threshold first.

“You left me. All alone, when I’d just been attacked. I needed you. At least you owe me a few minutes.”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. It isn’t fair. I did it for you, God, Urgh, someone, knows I wanted to stay, but it wasn’t safe. It isn’t safe.”

Aziraphale sighed, “Please, just a few minutes.”

Crowley frowned but moved aside to let him in, and then trudged wordlessly into the living room on the assumption that the Angel would follow him.

He dropped into a threadbare armchair with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, refusing to look up.

“I really could have done with your help this last few weeks you know. I may have been physically healed, but,” Aziraphale’s voice trembled, “but, I’m, I’m finding it harder to forget about it than I thought.”

Crowley lifted his head, Aziraphale was standing in the middle of the room, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, with tears in his eyes. His fingers ached to reach out and comfort him, but he clenched his fists and growled instead, throwing himself out of the chair and striding to the window to check outside for danger.

“You know it wasn’t safe, isn’t safe. You can’t be here. I can’t bear to let that happen to you again. I’m sure the other Angels took good care of you, just go back to them. What do you need me for?”

Aziraphale moved closer, next to Crowley to see the empty pavement outside, and lay a hand softly on his shoulder, “I didn’t call them, I told you, I didn’t want them, I wanted you.”

“You didn’t call them! You idiot!” Crowley snarled. “You were vulnerable, you needed protecting.”

“By you.”

Crowley shook his head vigorously, “Look how that worked out. I can’t protect you.”

They stared into each others eyes for a few seconds, before breaking away and standing side by side at the window in silence for several minutes.

A cat ran by, and a woman pushing a baby in a pram. Then Crowley felt fingers fumbling a little before taking his hand gently between them. He froze, his hand limp in Aziraphale’s grasp, and after a few heartbeats tightened his own hand, muscles, ligaments, bone, all to return the gesture and hold Aziraphale’s hand in turn.

Two cars and a van pass, and the cat, returning from its mission.

Crowley’s voice creaked, his throat dry, as he whispered, “You’re alright now though, yeah?”

He felt rather than saw the shrug he got in response.

Another car, and a bus.

Aziraphale’s voice was quiet, but in the silence of the room he may as well have been shouting, “As I said, physically, I’m fine.”

A flurry of activity outside, a group of girls from the local senior school on their way home. Crowley smiled sadly at them, they looked so happy.

“I don’t know what to do.” He admitted.

The fingers enclosing his hand squeezed tight for a second. Another minute of watching traffic passed.

“Why here?”

It was Crowley’s turn to shrug. “Dunno, this is where the next job was. Tempt some poor bugger into stealing from work, messing up their life.”

“You never liked those ones much.”

“Nah, s'boring. I tempt, they fall for it, another soul for hell.”

“Hmm.”

“S’pointless anyway. Another year or two and he’d have had his hands in the till anyway. Don’t know why I bother.”

Silence descended once again. They stood by the window as the winter sun dipped below the horizon and the moon appeared from behind the clouds. Neither of them moved, afraid of what would come next if they did.

Eventually Aziraphale whispered, “Do you have to? Bother I mean. With the assignments, temptations and such.”

Crowleys head whipped around to stare at him, it was dark in the room since the sun had set, but the streetlights outside gave enough light to see. “What? I can’t just stop, what else would I do? And, and, they wouldn’t be happy about it.”

“Right. Its just, I’ve been thinking, these last few weeks, I might retire. All these years working for heaven, and, when it came down to it, when I, when I was in trouble, it was you who came.”

Crowley spluttered, “Only because you were in my flat, and then I left you, don’t forget. They’d have come if you called them.”

Aziraphale looked like he might cry, “You have more faith in them than I do. I, I fully expect that they would have seen I was physically healed and then just have sent me a strongly worded note because I was in your flat in the first place, and saying that if I’d not gotten so out of shape those demons wouldn’t have been able to catch me.”

“They wouldn’t have done that.”

“Hmm, I was afraid to find out. I don’t trust them anymore. You left, but you did it for me, it’s you that I trust.”

They lapsed into silence again, and went back to watching the headlights go by outside.

“How will you retire? They’ll just let you go?”

“No. Probably not. I’ll have to leave, somewhere they won’t find me.”

Crowley's shoulders dropped.

Aziraphale continued, “You can come with me, that’s what I was hoping anyway. If you wanted to retire too.”

“Where? Where on Earth can we hide?”

Aziraphale smiled, “Not on Earth, I’ve got my eye on a little place. Not too far, we could sneak back for sushi sometime, maybe feed a few ducks, then go back home.’

“Where? What do you...?” Crowley stopped talking when Aziraphale raised his arm and pointed at the moon shining in the sky above them.

“Gabriel certainly hasn’t the imagination to think I could be up there.”

“No, my lot either. What would we do?”

“I thought a nice cave so no one could see, I can take my books, you can take your plants. We might have to compromise a bit on the interior design...” He looked dubiously around Crowley’s incredibly minimal living space, “but I’m sure we’d work it out.”

Crowley knew instantly that he would be the one compromising, not because Aziraphale would insist, but because he did so love to make his angel happy, and anyway, he’d always love the cosy mess that Aziraphale had always managed to make of every place he’s ever called home. 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s do that. We can be safe.”

Aziraphale beamed at him, “Oh my dear, better than that, we can be free.” He slid closer, right in front of Crowley, and brushed their lips together, a mere whisper of a touch, but enough to make Crowley’s heart pound in his chest.

Crowley took a second, he looked around at the sterile space he had been preparing to call home, and then whispered, “Let’s go.”

And in the blink of an eye, they did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> I'd love it if you left me a comment 😊


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